


Greatly Exaggerated

by theskywasblue



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Prison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-08
Updated: 2010-09-08
Packaged: 2017-10-11 14:22:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/113348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theskywasblue/pseuds/theskywasblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kirk finds himself in a bad situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Greatly Exaggerated

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dr_zook](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=dr_zook).



Kirk sometimes found it useful – sometimes – when he was in these sorts of situations, to think of all the situations he had been in that were actually _worse_; and there were quite a few. It kept him on an even keel, kept the panic down somewhere around tolerable instead of blinding, allowed him to think of ways out.

Except when it drove him halfway to crazy and he started pacing. Pacing was bad – not at all constructive, not to mention highly illogical.

He was pacing, and Spock was sitting – meditating or something – against the wall of their oh-so-tiny and poorly appointed cell, and Kirk could practically _feel_ him beaming those words into his brain: _highly illogical, highly illogical, highly illogical_; until finally, Kirk had to do something to break the tension or he was going to go absolutely insane.

"So, Spock...how do you think this is all going to end?"

Spock opened one eye, in a way that was suspiciously aggravated while appearing so _very_ hard not to be. "I find it highly likely, Captain, that this entire escapade will result in our deaths."

Kirk summoned his best _are you serious?_ look – knowing of course that Spock was never anything but, and the look would go entirely to waste.

"Gee Spock, and what's the bad news?"

Spock's eyebrow quirked. Kirk really enjoyed the eyebrow quirk – under normal circumstances it was weirdly endearing – but in this situation it was just sort of annoying because it wasn't the least bit helpful. Meditating – or whatever he was doing – was not helpful. Pacing, in fact, was probably more helpful because at least it kept Kirk occupied.

Maybe it was a good thing they were facing execution instead of life in prison, because life in a cell with Mr. No-humour would probably be the worst of all the bad situations Jim Kirk had ever been in by far.

Kirk leaned back against the wall and let his knees give out until he slipped down to the floor of the cell. "You can't even think of something decently optimistic to tell me?"

He could see Spock actually struggling to come up with something; it was sort of novel, but Kirk didn't really feel like he was in a position to enjoy it.

"The death will be quick," Spock offered finally, his tone almost edging on hopeful, "provided that the fall allows us to reach sufficient velocity for the noose to snap our necks when it reaches full extension."

"Your definition of 'optimistic' leaves a lot to be desired – did you know that?"

"It is difficult to find levity in the current situation."

"You might find some at the end of a rope."

"I find that doubtful."

Kirk sighed, "Why don't you tell me which is worse Spock – execution, or life in prison with all my best inappropriate jokes falling completely flat?"

"That was your best?" Spock's left eyebrow raised again in familiar and very slight quirk that indicated he was mocking Kirk. Kirk in turn felt as if he had – at last – found the worst situation he could possibly be in.

He was not, _not_ going to die mocked by a Vulcan; it was just...sad. It would make for one hell of a pathetic epitaph.

They were so getting out of this cell...

-End-


End file.
